ATTRACTED TO EXTREMES

It’s well-known that appearances often deceive, and the old adage about not judging a book by its cover is always good to keep in mind when dealing with humans.

I’m continually misjudged by people who don’t know me. It’s probably my introvert proclivities coupled with an utterly boring fashion sense and general physical decrepitude that makes people assume I’m a person of conservative tastes and an adherent to sensible middle-of-the-road life choices.

I once asked some teenage charges of mine to guess what kind of music I liked. Nearly everyone said ‘classical.’

I had to laugh. Nothing could be further from the truth. 

The normal path is apparently to go from liking raucous musical forms in youth followed by a gradual transition into more staid genres as one ages. For me it has been the opposite. As a youngster I did indeed like loud blaring punk rock, but I also liked quite a bit of classical and even, god help us, things like folk. Over the years I have not only maintained my love of loud aggressive music, it has intensified : the more extreme, the better. And as for classical - I never listen to it these days at all. 

I have in my playlists such gems as Liturgy’s ‘Generation’ - seven minutes of extreme metal with weird time signatures and one chord - that’s right, only one chord for the entire song, and no vocals. I love the first two albums by Napalm Death -  about as ‘in your face’ as music can get. But I also gravitate to the extremities on the other end - minimalism. I just bought a vinyl copy of Brian Eno’s ‘On Land’ - tuneless ambient sound collages inspired by imagining what various geographical locations would sound like if you were standing there.

I don’t espouse music on the fringes like this because it’s edgy or I wish to gain points - I genuinely like listening to it.

It’s the same with books. Since I was a teenager I was drawn to what are considered “difficult” works, which more often than not, also means “long,” and as I’ve aged this proclivity has only been reinforced. It’s hard to explain the attraction, but while others might pursue the line of least resistance, I work on the principle that if you’re going to get into the water at all, you might as well dive in at the deep end and explore it as much as you can.

Politics : here too I have always gone for what others might consider extreme, in my particular case, anarchism. Personally I don’t think this is extreme at all, it’s just that it’s largely misunderstood as being assassins throwing bombs, an erroneous late nineteenth century view. 

Anarchism is, in fact, a political and social philosophy that opposes unjust hierarchies and seeks a society without coercive authority. Instead of being ruled from above, anarchists believe people should organize themselves voluntarily through cooperation, mutual aid, and horizontal (non-hierarchical) structures. 

Nestor Makhno - Ukrainian anarchist with an amazing hat and jacket

I know what you’re thinking - “Andy, that’s just a utopian pipe dream! That would never work in reality! The only two times in history an anarchist society has existed on a moderately large scale (Spain, 1930s, Ukraine, 1920s) it soon collapsed!” Yes, yes, I know - collapsed due to being destroyed by both right and leftist forces who found it too threatening. Of course there is no chance of it coming into existence these days, and yes, one person’s anarchist revolutionary is another’s lawless bandit, but it’s primarily a state of mind. Call me out of touch, old-fashioned and unrealistic, but I strongly believe in things like justice, equal rights and freedom (in the real sense, not in the capitalist ‘freedom to exploit others’ sense), and if that is in short supply in our current reality, I can still carry it internally and apply it as and when I can in small ways.

In other areas too extremities rule, and I have to confess that I’ve often got into trouble because of it. The masses’ idea of a holiday is lying on some beach for two weeks surrounded by their compatriots  : me - let’s go alone to the Dolomites in Italy at the age of 48 with no proper hiking / climbing gear or experience, and a fear of heights, and let’s wilfully, pigheadedly, force myself along dodgy traverses at 3,000m altitude - what could possibly go wrong? 

Or how about deciding to squeeze through a hole in the Berlin Wall circa 1989 just for the hell of it - I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be arrested at gunpoint by East German soldiers, forced to write a confession, then expelled from the country, right? (Lol - that’s precisely what happened).

My attraction for extremes has also impacted other aspects of my life : regular, careerist jobs and steady income? Of course not! I’m the kind of person who cannot help but point out something if I see it as wrong or an injustice - which doesn’t go down well in hierarchical corporate structures.

However, I have to stress that I’m not entirely extreme in my choices - I do sometimes like to read decidedly low-brow literature as a palate cleanser, my playlists do include Abba and Fleetwood Mac, and you will find me binging on popular Netflix series.

It’s just that I pity those who stick to the straight and narrow path of the lowest common denominator,  never daring to push out past barriers into uncharted territory, never challenging themselves in any meaningful way. Being in the herd brings a certain security, I suppose, but how utterly dull to allow yourself to be forced, often unknowingly, into strict confines imposed upon you by outside forces.